An idyllic day. The sun shines brightly on my toddler Edwin. He plays naked in the sun in the backyard with the hose as he stands on the slate brick piece of walkway. He waters the rest of the walkway. The grass is lush and green. The tall fence is deep blue. The catalpa tree hangs low to offer shade. The garden is tall and full of yummy things to eat. Everything is just as we'd planned. Happy, peaceful yard and house for kids to play in.

And we know that in less than a month, by some mechanism or another, we'll have to leave. We are really scared. We need to sell or rent. Fast. I am hoping hoping hoping for a job interview to yield an offer. If it doesn't, we have a plan B, but it's not quite as nice. We've told our agent as of last night that we're willing to sell the house for free... that is.. what we have left on the mortgage plus closing costs. Just get us out of here. And we'll be thrilled to exchange what amounts to a huge lump of money for the peace of mind that we can leave our lovely home in which we feel so happy - which we'd never ever leave if we could find equivalent jobs nearby...

It's of little comfort that we're not alone. There is another house I keep an eye on, a house we viewed in Lansdowne when we were under the false illusion that we would be owning there soon. They're also academics needing to move. They keep dropping their price, as does literally every other home on the market. Great time to buy. Not to sell. It would make sense to do both, but we're essentially doing neither. We're putting up a "FREE" sign on our house. Still, who's going to buy it? You never own land in Ithaca. You rent it at a high cost from the city. I don't know what we're going to do. This is really emotionally draining for all of us. Michael and me b/c we understand what's happening to our lives and we're scared enough that we are not going to be able to pull this off, and the kids b/c they just sense stress for no reason.